Friday, December 21, 2007

Why I love the government

by Jimmy

Because mothers are too STUPID to properly care for their children. Because doctors are too STUPID to know how and what medicines to prescribe for their patients. Because parents are too STUPID to know what car seat or toy is safe for their kids. Because we're too STUPID to know how to handle a firearm. Because we're too STUPID to plan for our own retirement. Because parents are too STUPID to know what school to send their kids to. Because we are too STUPID to know what kind of food to eat. Because we are too STUPID to think about our own health care, Because we are so STUPID that we continue driving cars that use too much gas. We're so STUPID that we need a label on an iron warning us not to use it on clothes that we are currently wearing. And we're too STUPID to pay for good art and culture. Quite simply we are too STUPID to take care of ourselves, our parents, our children, our future and our environment.

However, as STUPID as we are, we are able to elect all knowing, all seeing, all caring geniuses who will guide us through the minefield of life on our way to Nirvanatopia. These are the same savants who have saddled us with an ever increasing debt of over $30,000 for every man, woman and child (even those yet unborn) here in the United States. They build bridges to nowhere. They have managed the dollar so well that it is worth about 5% of what it was 80 years ago. The penny postcard now costs 26¢. They have lost the war on poverty, the war on drugs and the Vietnam war. They have made it a felony for a 10 year old to even draw a picture of a gun. They can secretly open all mail, listen in on all conversations and examine all our records for our own protection. They send hordes of petty bureaucrats into our homes and businesses to pester us with a never ending array of rules and regulations, and whose response to any question is a robotic, "I'm just doin' my job." And if you don't like it, they will send an armored SWAT team to your house, bust down your fucking door, tear out your windows and blast your STUPID ass away. You STUPID motherfucker.


tgeek said...

Let's give people the benefit of the doubt. They aren't too STUPID per se. They are just really damn LAZY. You see, it takes time out of the day to research stuff yourself. That's why it's easier to wait for Big Brother to do it for you.

We say, please big brother, wipe my ass for me, give me healthcare, and money to live on. Work in exchange for money is too tiring.

Blashyrkh said...

Money grows on trees for the ones with enough power to spend it with no consequences...and those trees are fertilised with the complete and utter SHIT churning out of radio and television each hour of the day. It's good to know that in this time of idiocy, we have the Jimmy Doane show to keep our heads informed, and out of our asses.

Keep up the good work.